Before loss, a new year meant starting over; a clean slate. We would often make a list (at least in our heads) of things we wanted to improve on or begin, in the new year. It was seen as a fresh start.

Now, after experiencing loss, our tendency is to look back rather than forward. Fear creeps in and we begin thinking, that a new year means moving on, forgetting, leaving their memory behind, and or letting go. We live in this paradigm of wanting to feel better, but not being sure we are willing to turn our gaze forward rather than behind.

So many times in our grief, we have to choose a perspective shift- New Years is one of them. While it may be easy to reflect on how long we have been without our loved one, we can choose to see that with our Hope in Christ and his eternal promise, we can have an eternal perspective. This new year, we are now, one year closer. One year closer to holding them again.

So today, let’s stop and remind ourselves, as much as the media and companies tell us differently, January 1st is… Just. Another. Day. Nothing definitive. There are no lines you need to draw in the sand, and nothing you have to leave behind. If you choose to make a goal this year, a grief goal is a great place to start- push myself to get out more, go to a counselor, connect with a grief community for support, share my grief thoughts/needs with my spouse/family more, create a family night where we all feel safe sharing playing and sharing whats going on in our hearts and lives.

This new year, let’s walk forward with an eternal perspective and focus on the MORE this change of the calendar can bring- MORE laughter, MORE gratitude, MORE friends, MORE memories, MORE love, MORE chances to make a difference in the lives around you.