Hope is a four letter word that we never thought we would be able to say again after losing our 2 ½ year old son, Rowen on November 20, 2018. Rowen Eugene Halferty was our first child. While living and working as missionaries in Papua New Guinea we found out we were pregnant and we were so excited. We decided to come home to have our little boy surrounded by our family. We were so excited to be parents, and even though we never got a chance to return overseas because Rowen had seizures after a traumatic birth, but we were okay with God moving us on a different path. 

Rowen grew into was an amazing, healthy little boy that loved trucks, and he especially loved to help daddy “build” things. Everyone loved his curly blonde hair and his big blue eyes and his laugh was infectious. Our little family was perfect, and growing as I found out that I was expecting his baby brother, who Rowen affectionately named “Bobby” (I’m sure after his favorite cartoon, “Bob the Builder”). He was even due to have the same birthday as Rowen!

Then out of nowhere Rowen developed a cold. Since it was right before Thanksgiving I decided to take him to the doctor. He seemed fine at the office so they sent us home just saying that he had a minor cold and to take some Tylenol. That night he didn’t want to eat much so I fixed him his favorite meal of spaghetti and then gave him a bath and he fell asleep in Evan’s arms. I got up in the middle of the night to check on him, and he seemed fine, lying on his cot on the floor next to his big boy bed that he still wasn’t quite used to. That morning as Evan was getting up to go to work he felt like God was telling him to go check on Rowen. He found him not breathing…Rowen had gone to heaven. Evan screamed my name and I woke up from a deep sleep knowing something was terribly wrong. We were in shock. I called 911 while Evan attempted CPR but it was too late. The paramedics showed up and we saw they carry his lifeless body to the ambulance. The world stopped as they yelled “DOA” across our front yard. Upon meeting the paramedics at the ER, they confirmed that there was nothing more they could do. They let us stay at the hospital for hours as family and friends trickled into the ER. People from our church lined the halls of the ER, so much so that they had to move them into the chapel upstairs. Leaving the hospital was one of the hardest things we ever had to do. I struggled just to survive without him, and my body physically hurt without him. Basic tasks, like eating and sleeping became so hard. I was angry at God and didn’t understand why he would take my beautiful boy away from me. 

The way that our family and friends surrounded us after his death was amazing. They helped us plan a celebration of life that even included a real fire truck that our pastor had parked outside of the church, which was one of his favorite toys. With every little detail we saw how God was still there, from picking out the cemetery that “happened” to be taken care of by a friend, to people literally paying for the entire funeral for us, and supplying us meals for months afterwards. At first we felt so alone, like no one understood the loss that we had gone through. But through going to a retreat with Hope Family Care we found other families that had lost a child and we began to realize that we were not alone in our grief. Through our anger and grief HFC reminded us that there was only one person in the world that could give us HOPE again, and that was Jesus. The hope that someday we will see Rowen again in heaven where we will live out our days as a complete family again is the only thing that keeps us moving forward. Jesus reminds us in Isaiah 43 that he “will do something new” and as we’ve been on this journey through loss he has given us a heart to reach out to other families that have lost. We feel as though God is doing something new through Rowen’s death and showing us new ways that we can help others. 

Bobby was born just 5 months after Rowen went to heaven. They are so much alike in so many ways and we are constantly telling him about his Bubba. He brings us joy that we never thought that we would have again. Rowen lived 919 days on this earth and even though it was way too short of a time, we are so thankful to have been his parents.