That feeling you get when you hear for the first time “I’m pregnant!” The joy it brings your home and marriage. Going to the doctor and seeing the ultra sound, your heart racing with excitement for this new journey. Then the day comes when you find out if its a boy or girl. 

I can remember that day just like it were yesterday…we were so exited we were going to have a boy. We named the him Joshua Alexander. On October 6, 2015 we got to meet little Alec. The first time I held him, it was like we were the only people in the world.

It was so much fun to watch Alec grow and learn new things. He was extremely smart and picked up things very quickly. He loved all things music and instruments. We just knew he was going to be the next Beethoven! lol

The 2 years with Alec seemed to go by so fast. Alec was a healthy kid and rarely got sick. In the beginning of January 2018 we took him to the doctor for minor symptoms. She said he had the stomach virus and in his age group it takes a couple weeks to get back to normal and he didn’t need any prescriptions.  During Alec’s sickness, he would go from playing, to just cuddling, then back to playing etc. the day before everything happened he slept a lot. We thought he was getting better, he watched cartoons and even wanted macaroni to eat. 

That night Alec was uncomfortable and couldn’t sleep. My wife (who was 6 months pregnant at the time) thought he might be more comfortable in the living room so I laid with him on the couch while he slept on my chest. I think God knew we needed this time together. 
Alec woke up in the middle of the night vomiting and having seizures. We called the doctor and she said it wasn’t problem just a seizure due to the fever, but call 911 just to be sure. So we did. It seemed like forever before they got there. He was seizing and unresponsive. They rushed Alec to the closest hospital. 

The doctors at the hospital couldn’t figure out what was wrong with him. He was still unresponsive. They wanted to move him to Vanderbilt to get a more thorough exam when they got him stabilized. 
Then we got the news that no parent ever wants to hear. He said Mr. and Mrs. Birkey you son has a brain mass and bleeding on the brain. We need to do emergency surgery to reduce the swelling and even then we don’t know if he’s going to make it. 

Our world was crashing before us and we were devastated. The longest days of our life were sitting in the hospital praying and wondering what was going to happen next.

We spent 2 days in the hospital crying, praying and begging God to do a miracle to save our baby boy. Then the moment came when the doctors said “there is nothing else we can do”. Never did we ever think we would have to tell our baby goodbye. You go through life, make plans and dream about about the future. This wasn’t part of our plans. We cried out to God, “Why?? We want our baby! Don’t take him!!” 

Still praying and believing that God could do a miracle, we kissed our baby boy. Through the tears and the broken heart, we told him we loved him and we said our goodbyes. Alec took his last breath here on earth. 

Even though we never got a miracle, we know that we will see Alec again. No one ever asks for this path in life, it’s a hard, long journey and every day you wake up and do it again. We have found hope and healing in Christ even through the passing of Alec. I heard a statement that really helped me “God doesn’t make things happen to us, he allows them, so he can work through us”. 

The only way we can make it through is to hold on to the promises that he has made for us. We pray every day that through this pain, God would work in us to help others who might be struggling and suffering. That we might be able to show them that there is hope and his name is Jesus.
Even though the pain is there every day, we pray God turns the PAIN into PURPOSE.